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How To Flunk a Class

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There are a few bad habits that most failing students have in common. If you really want to flunk out of a class, all you have to do is pick up a few of these bad habits.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: Very little

Here's How:

  1. Don't keep an assignment diary or scheduler.

    Students who get As and Bs on their work usually do so because they have pesky little reminders in their schedulers that say things like "test in five days" or "read chapter 3 tonight."

    Really successful students learn to send themselves reminders via email or by using their cell phone alarms.

     

  2. Don't bother taking notes.

    The mere process of writing down the teacher's comments would make some of the material sink in, especially for tactile and visual learners. If you take class notes, you're more likely to have all the material you need when it comes time to study for a test.

     

  3. Fall asleep in class.

    You can always spot the kids who get good report cards. They are wide awake when the teacher is talking or showing examples on the board. You can tell these kids never watch TV or play video games until the wee hours of the morning.

     

  4. Wait until the last minute to begin working on a research paper.

    Just think: If several kids in the class are writing about the same topic as you, it's certain that they'll check out all the books if you wait long enough. All those other students probably started researching right away. There's no way you'll get a good grade if all the research material is checked out.

    Even if you're the only one researching your topic, you've got a great chance of failing if you try to cram a month's worth of research and writing into a few days (or hours!).

     

  5. Leave your work at home.

    If, by some chance, you do all your homework and you do it very well, you still have a great shot at failing. All you have to do is leave your work at home!

    Successful students always plan around things like this. They gather all their materials together the night before and put them in a designated spot.

     

  6. Ignore all directions.

    Only successful students bother with directions. If you are working on a major project and you really want to fail, just ignore all that writing called directions.

    Only high-achieving students bother with the correct MLA format on papers. They're always proof-reading their work before they print it, too.

     

  7. Don't study for a test until the night before.

    Kids who get As and Bs usually begin studying as soon as they find out a test is coming. They start out by reading over all their notes the first night or two, then start testing themselves with little practice questions they make up.

     

  8. Annoy the teacher.

    Chew gum, don't pay attention in class, talk to your friends, sleep—do whatever you can to get on your teacher's nerves. It will help a lot when the teacher is trying to decide between two grades. If you annoy the teacher, he or she will always know whether to give you credit for effort.

     

  9. Study alone if possible.

    Sometimes kids who study in a group can pick up new ideas and tips from others. Do you really want to take that chance?

     

Tips:

  1. Avoid the library at all costs.
  2. Eat lots of junk food. Avoid vegetables.
  3. Don't think about your future.
  4. Don't listen to advice from teachers, parents, or high-achieving friends.

What You Need:

  • Procrastination
  • Lack of Discipline
  • Lack of Respect
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